I’ve been setting goals for myself, with purpose for a few years, since I learned about the value of writing them down. There have been times I've written down something that I want, only to forget about it and then come back to that journal sometime later to discover the thing I wanted had manifested in my life. This also works with clipping scrap book images, a story that you can read about here.

One really fun way that I work with goals is to set a 31 day goal. These are focussed goals that are related to my longer term goals, contribute to the longer term goal, and are designed for me to practice becoming the kind of person I will be in the future who has already achieved that longer term goal. 

Begin with the end in mind

Where do you want to be in your life this time next year? This is not just a question of geography (although it could be!) This time next year do you want to be in a relationship, have created a certain level of income, have reached a goal weight, have run a marathon? Do you know exactly what you want? This is the essential first step of setting an intentional goal; simply getting clear on what you want and when you want to achieve it by. We call this a measurable result. When we set goals this way it takes it out of the realm of an unattainable fantasy and brings it into the realm of possibility. 

In order to achieve your goal you need to evolve

Knowing who you will need to become in order to achieve the thing you want helps you to see the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Once you identify that gap, what’s missing between here and there you can begin to bridge it, and we bridge it one step at a time. I’m currently working on an income goal for my business of £100k. I’ll need to evolve into a different person in order to achieve that, and I know that it won't happen overnight. My conscious loving attention to one step at a time will change my self concept, the very idea of who I am. 

You can ask your future self to tell you what you need to do in order to become the kind of person who achieves the things you want. You will be amazed at the wisdom that your future self has, unburdened as they are by the minutiae of the problems you are facing today. A way we all do this every day is by making our bed each morning. Our present moment self is taking care of our future self, albeit the self that we will be by the time bed time comes around. We are creating a benevolent structure (a term I learned from my good friend and teacher Avanti Shivpuri who’s work with me during 2016 was pivotal, and changed the trajectory of my life) for our future self to come to. 

Choose a short term goal that will impact your longer term goal

We’ve established that in order to reach your longer term goal you will need to become a different person. If this sounds daunting to you right now let’s take a moment to see that from another perspective. If you can choose to become anyone you want, what kind of person would be the most fun to you? A couple of years ago when I was waiting tables in a hotel, loaded with 5am starts, corporate bullying, drug abuse in the kitchen and nepotism, one of the most fun things to me looked like waking up early and experiencing the sunrise, drinking a cup of tea overlooking the ocean. Scroll forward and this is how my life looks today, and part of the reason is because of the way I applied myself to my vision. I allowed myself to think that this was attainable, and then acted on ideas to make this happen that came my way. 

One of those ideas was to be in bed by 9:30pm every night. Being in bed by 9:30pm every night would ensure I was well rested in order to do my waiting job well, and if I could do my waiting job really well then my confidence would increase, and with my increased confidence I could complete my coach training and find a new better job to support me as I transitioned from a job to running my own business in a way I wanted, which included early morning sunrise cups of tea. 

Now that I’ve achieved that goal I’ve added an extra piece on to the 9:30pm bedtime routine of turning the tv off at 8pm every night for 31 days. This arose as a challenge for me recently whilst my boyfriend has been away caring for his mother during lockdown. Historically I’ve not been a big telly-watcher, but it was dark December, lockdown, a LOT of time alone and so I started a box set. And I couldn’t stop. I was starting to stay up until 1am, which is fine if you sleep late, but I’m an early riser these days and was finding myself in a cycle of late night, early waking, over tired, afternoon tv...evening tv...late night tv. 

TV in itself is not a problem, but when I thought of the growth of my business and who I would need to become, I figured the late night box set binge didn’t fit the bill. 

Anticipate your obstacles and create strategies to overcome them

Commiting to a goal like turning the tv off at 8pm for 31 days focusses the brain on results. The first night we get to 8pm, we’re so eager to get the result of 31 days of tv off that it’s easy to accomplish. The second night the brain begins to complain a bit, and by the third night the brain is in full persuasion mode as to why it’s a terrible idea for you to turn off the tv. It’s offering up every reason why you should leave it on. Thoughts like;

• It doesn’t matter that much

• One night over 8pm won't make a difference

• Nobody will know

• I can start again tomorrow

• I don’t want to turn the tv off

• I’m going to miss the best bit of the show

• My partner will complain

These are thoughts that the primitive brain presents as lovely but are in fact toxic to your dreams and to your longer term goals. If you have a goal to be running your own business, to be running a marathon, to be improving your relationship with your partner, to get promoted or to lose a certain amount of weight, thoughts like this will literally kill your dreams. I want you to take your dream, your goal so seriously that it’s like a fire has been lit. Thoughts like the ones listed above are like opening the hosepipe and dowing the flames with cold water. Game over. 

The good news is that these obstacles are created by your mind and can also be overcome with your mind with a process I’m going to teach you here, and teach my clients during our coaching sessions. Book a free consult here and we can talk about why you’re not achieving your goals and make a plan for solutions

How to set your 31 day goal

When you set up your 31 day goal, which you’ll do by stating what you want to achieve and the date 31 days in advance. For me “I will turn the tv off by 8pm every single night no matter what for 31 days, every day until 31st January 2021” A measurable result. 

The next step is to anticipate your obstacles, the thoughts your brain will offer you that you will be required to overcome in order to achieve your result. Write them all down. Next to each one you will write a strategy for how you will overcome each one, like this;

ObstacleThe thought that Nobody will know → Strategy Remind yourself that you will know and that you want to treat yourself with respect by keeping your word to yourself. (This builds self confidence like nothing else I know btw)

Obstacle I’m going to miss the best bit of the show → Strategy The brain wants you to think that the rest of the show is really important. It’s not. It doesn’t matter what time you watch it, just not any time after 8pm because see above. 

The final step is to imagine yourself at the end of 31 days as the person who has completed what they set out to do. You are going to have a shift in your identity when you create a new habit after 31 days. In the case of my tv off at 8pm goal I am learning the meta-skill of deciding on purpose what I want to do, rather than letting my primitive brain run the show. I am learning to manage my emotions which become agitated and uncomfortable when I think the thought ‘I’m going to miss the best part of the show’ Those emotions are transient and cause me no harm. I will also have increased self confidence because I achieved what I set out and know that I can rely on myself to deliver. I’ve learned the meta-skill of taking full responsibility for my results. 

Follow me on social media to watch my progress, and I’d love you to share about yours too!