Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

Do you get easily wound up and aggravated, react explosively to the situation and stay in a terrible mood for ages after the initial event?

This was me too not so long ago. Something “bad” would happen, I’d explode (yes, even mild mannered Jo has a temper, what can I say, I’m human) and then fester for hours, even days after the event.

I’d go over and over it in my head. I’d ruminate on all the reasons the other person was wrong, and a massive what-do-you-call-it.

Worst of all, I’d think of all the things that I should have said but didn’t, all of the clever come backs. All of the ways I could have been right.

I wanted to be right. I thought that being right would make me feel happy.

And I really, really, really wanted to be happy.

Ultimately that’s all we ever want, right? (ha) To be happy.

But we humans, god bless us, have brains with a tendency towards resistance.

When you find yourself infuriated, angry, upset and festering it’s a sure sign you’re in resistance to feeling good.

The only reason for this is because you’re a human with a human brain. No big deal and certainly not a reason to make yourself wrong or beat yourself up.

Fortunately you also have a highly evolved part of your brain, a prefrontal cortex, that you can use to direct your thoughts towards better feelings.

So when the airline charged me €96 to bring two very small bags home from a gorgeous weekend in Amsterdam with my daughter I temporarily lost my s**T.

My brain was braining, nothing more than that. 

It was telling me that…

- the airline were ripping me off, 

- I was an idiot for not reading the website properly, 

- the trip had been ruined, and 

- I'd been publicly humiliated in front of my daughter and everyone else boarding the flight. 

It's hardly surprising to know that this all felt terrible and made me react explosively. 

But I get over things pretty quickly these days, thanks to coaching. 

The tools I teach and practice help to move me and my clients out of a reactive state and into a calm and peaceful state. 

This does not mean that we ever allow ourselves to walked all over or taken advantage of. Far from it. 

 It means that we don't make circumstances responsible for the way that we feel. 

 Circumstances are never responsible for the way that you feel. The way you feel is always created by a thought in your brain,100% of the time. 

You can choose thoughts that feel better. This is your unique ability and privilege as a human. 

I paid the hold baggage fee, took a breath and found something else to focus upon, something that felt better. I took a moment to appreciate that I had money in the bank to pay the fee, that my baggage was getting home safely and that I'd have more space than usual under my seat. 

 As you take time to appreciate what's good and what's working, you redirect your brain to those better feeling thoughts. 

 You can feel better about any circumstance in a heartbeat. 

PS; here’s a great resource to help you do exactly that; you can download The three secrets to being your own best friend on this link