From Self-Criticism to Self-Kindness: A Journey of Transformation
From Self-Criticism to Self-Kindness: A Journey of Transformation
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, feeling stuck, frustrated, or unsure how to move forward? Peter, one of my clients, found himself in exactly that place. His story is one of transformation, and it might just inspire you to start your own.
Where It Began
When Peter reached out for coaching, he was at what he described as “a rather low ebb.” A life-threatening fall, fueled by binge drinking, left him feeling disgusted with himself. His relationship with his wife had grown cold, reduced to perfunctory conversations and active annoyance.
“I was feeling disgusted with myself and depressed that it had happened again,” Peter said.
Does this resonate with you? Maybe you’re navigating your own version of feeling stuck or lost, carrying habits, thoughts, or patterns that no longer serve you.
Transformation begins with a single step toward self-kindness
The Power of Perspective
Through coaching, Peter began to see his life from a new vantage point. He recognised how deeply self-critical he had been, often dismissing his achievements and magnifying his perceived failures. Together, we worked to shift his focus to celebrate his wins and share with himself the compassion he so easily gave to others.
“The most valuable experience was being shown how to look at situations from another perspective. Above all, to stop being so self-critical and to learn to appreciate all the good things one does.”
This new perspective wasn’t just theoretical. It had tangible effects. Peter became calmer. He stopped drinking. His relationship with his wife began to heal.
How Did He Do It?
The key wasn’t in dramatic leaps but in small, consistent steps. One impactful exercise helped him unlock these changes. And now, I’d like to share it with you.
Daily reflection is a powerful tool for building self-compassion.
Transformational Exercise: The Self-Compassion Journal
Set a Time Each Day - Choose a quiet moment, perhaps in the evening, to reflect on your day.
List Three Wins - Write down three things you achieved. The point here is not to judge one result as more or less valuable as another, or more or less valuable as anyone else’s results. WE can’t compare apples to oranges. You are unique, so we are studying an n of 1. Ask yourself, “Did I do what I said I would do today?”
Practice Reframing - If you struggled with something, write about it from the perspective of a loving friend. A loving friend might say to you for example “I notice that you really didn’t want to do that thing today, but you did it anyway.” We can learn to recognise that we aren’t required to do everything perfectly, or willingly, but our relationship with ourselves is strengthened when we do what we set out to do, even though it was difficult and we did it imperfectly.
Send yourself Compassion and Kindness - Place your hands over your heart and say the words “You did well today.”
This exercise, done consistently, can help you build a habit of self-kindness and gradually shift your perspective.
Every small action adds up to big change.
What’s Possible for You?
Imagine what could change if you gave yourself the same opportunity Peter did. What if you could stop the self-criticism, let go of habits that don’t serve you, and strengthen your relationships, starting with the one you have with yourself?
As Peter said: “My negativity towards myself has decreased, and my unsureness in dealing with others has definitely improved. I feel considerably calmer than I was.”
The first step toward transformation is booking your discovery call.
Your Journey Starts Here
You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Coaching is a space for exploration, growth, and uncovering the answers you already have within you. If Peter’s story resonates, it might be time for you to take the first step.
👉 Ready to see what’s possible for you? Book a free discovery call here. Let’s explore how coaching can support your journey toward self-kindness and transformation.
This is your opportunity to create a life you feel proud of - calmer, kinder, and more aligned with who you truly are. Let’s take that step together.
