How to make time for yourself
I walked out of my opticians waiting room this afternoon after waiting 40mins to be seen by the practitioner.
I wasn't angry at being kept waiting.
I didn't sit for ages and deliberate should I stay or should I go.
Time is the one commodity we can never get back.
It's not that I'm a busy woman with a tonne on her to do list. Far from it. I've set my life up that way on purpose after spending years prioritising other peoples needs, lives and businesses.
I was able to do this, and was a brilliant fire-putter-outer (meet any producer and they'll all say the same) because I held others needs in such high regard.
My daughter needed time to rest as she settled into her first job. I made sure she got it by taking care of her.
Her father, my ex-partner, needed time to discuss matters relating to our daughter. I gave it to him.
My friends needed time to sit and chat (complain) about their lives. I was always there for them.
My boss; I gave extra time, making sure I was always available when fires were burning fiercely and regularly.
My boyfriend, who wanted to visit whenever it suited him. I kept my schedule flexible to accommodate him. I never knew when a good mood might miraculously land on him and I wanted to make the most of those times.
I said yes to giving everyone my time. I was scared of what might happen to me, or them, if I said no to them. I was resentful that I never had time for myself.
But do you notice who's missing from this list?
Me. Time for me and my needs was missing. I prioritised everyone else's time over my own.
So when life as I knew it crashed and burned 5 years ago (I left a 15 yr relationship after a drunken assault, and a successful career as a shoot producer to pursue my dream of becoming a Life Coach) I vowed to prioritise myself.
"I MATTER", I wrote in my journal. “I MATTER, AND MY TIME IS VALUABLE”
It felt weird at first, but I had a few coaching tools in my bag and knew that I could tweak that new thought. “I'm practicing the new belief that I matter” My brain accepted this idea, and we were off.
Saying no to people and things became fun. Not in a mean way, I never wanted to be mean to anyone, but I recognised that I had been mean to myself in the past by depriving myself of my own time and attention.
And I realised another fundamental truth. What other people thought of me when I said no to them was none of my business. I felt liberated.
Forty mins after I was due to see the optician today I simply looked at my watch, decided that 40mins was longer than I wanted to sit in an ugly airless waiting room for an eye appointment, picked up my bag and walked out.
No fuss, no drama.
And all because I believe 100% that I matter and my time is valuable. It's not even a belief I need to practice these days. It's just part of my identity now.
I want this for you too. Because you ALREADY matter 100%.
If you're a man who is giving away all your time at the expensive of your own, call me, I can help. Click this link to book a call to discuss how 1:1 coaching can help you make time for yourself.
