What to do when you feel lost

I learned about navigation from my Dad who gave me a love of maps and an ability to find my way. When I was a kid I loved to sit with him as he planned the journey the night before we went away on holiday. He’d take the map book out of the car and beginning with the overview of the country on the inside page he’d turn to the page with the destination on it. Then he’d refer back to the first page to find where we were now. He’d make a note of all the pages he needed to study to take us from Home to Holiday. ⠀⠀

In this blog I’m going to teach you how you can begin to find your way when you’re lost 


Steven Covey, he of ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ says "To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination" which is all very well if you know a few things first; where you are now, where you want to go and why you want to go there. 

If you are like I was not so long ago…”are you kidding me?! I hate where I am in my life right now and I’ve absolutely no idea where I want to get to other than somewhere that’s not here. Ok?” This can feel overwhelming but I got you. You are in the right place for guidance. Infact, I want you to consider first that you are only ever in the right place, by the sheer fact that you are exactly where you are, right now in this moment. You couldn't possibly be anywhere else. 

Where you are is the best place to begin, and knowing that you no longer want to be there is also great information, but this is no time for the hamster wheel of repetitive thoughts and here’s why. 

Why thinking about where you DO want to be is important

Life the Universe and Everything is a creative partnership. What we think about is what life gives us. I talked in last week's post about the Reticular Activating System of your brain. This is the mechanism that is primed to seek out things that match what you are thinking about. It filters all the data around you; everything you see, hear, taste, touch, smell. Around 2,000,000 pieces of information each day. You don't want or need it all, so the RAS filters it for you based on what you think about. Your RAS will show things to you that match what you think thus proving what you think to be true. The more proof we get the stronger our belief becomes. It’s the reason you learn a new word and then hear it everywhere. 

It is also the reason that you keep finding yourself in the place (physically, emotionally, mentally) that you don't want to be in. Thinking how much you don't want to be there sends a message to the evidence seeker of your brain to go out and prove that you are still there, followed by the thought that you don't know how to get yourself out of that place and yes, your brain will send you more evidence of how you are unable to get out of that place. Not helpful at all, especially when you want to get out of there! 

This is all going on in the primitive part of your brain. That part of your brain was designed to keep you alive and safe, and it’s doing a great job, it’s just that it isn’t that useful to you any longer. What’s useful is evolving and in order to do this we have to use our prefrontal cortex. Getting from one place to another emotionally and mentally is an evolution, a change, a development. It’s the personal development we really want. We can get that going in a free hour long life audit session, which you can book in for right here. I’ll teach you how we can begin to develop ourselves, to grow into the next version of ourselves, and to do that intentionally.

How can we make changes when we don't know where to begin?

The first change comes when we make the very simple shift from ‘I don't want to be here’ to ‘if I know I don't want to be, I wander where I would rather be?’ Curiosity opens the door to a possible new place, the possibility to define somewhere else you’d rather be. 

Let’s return to my Dad and the map. Home was where we were, Holiday was the place we wanted to be, our goal. Again, with curiosity ‘How do we get there? I wonder which is the best route for us to take?’

As soon as you know where you are and where you want to go you have a map, which according to google is ‘... a symbolic interpretation of place and highlights the relationships between elements in space, either perceived or actual.’ Don’t you just love that definition? My Dad understands the way the map is marked; the larger roads leading out of the city in one colour, the smaller roads in finer lines and paler colours. He found the main road leading out from the city that took us in the direction of Holiday. On a small piece of paper he wrote the route in bullet points “A47, eastbound until Junction blah. Roundabout, third exit towards blah” He had symbols for roundabouts and traffic lights. He was creating guidelines that he could quickly refer to whilst on the road, but he also knew instinctively that the act of writing it down helped him to memorise it. ⠀⠀

Using the maps scale, 4 miles to 1 inch, he taught me how to estimate the distance, and then with a simple sum of distance divided by miles per hour (or something like that!) we could get a good idea of what sort of time we’d arrive, once we’d determined what time we were leaving home.

First, know where you’re going⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

So you see, we didn’t just get in the car and drive aimlessly. We knew where we were going and after a processing of asking questions and getting the answers from the map we knew how to get there. And this my friends, is as sweetly simple as goal setting and attainment needs to be. Where am I now? Where do I want to get to? Why do I want to go there? How will I get there? 

Book a free 60min consult session with me by clicking this link and find out how working with me as your coach and help you find your way

I am on a mission to help you find your way. 💙


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Five ways to navigate an emotional meltdown