Emotional Freedom: How to Hold Your Own Peace When Others Are Struggling
Do You Feel Like Other People’s Moods Control Yours?
Have you ever noticed how your mood can shift depending on the emotions of those around you? One moment, you’re feeling fine, and the next, someone else’s stress, frustration, or negativity pulls you into their storm. It’s exhausting to feel responsible for managing other people’s emotions—especially when all you want is peace and harmony in your relationships.
But here’s the truth: your emotional state does not have to be dictated by others. True emotional freedom comes from learning to hold your own peace - even when those around you are struggling. This isn’t about shutting people out; it’s about creating healthy emotional boundaries that protect your energy while still offering support.
Let’s explore how you can stop absorbing others’ emotions and reclaim your inner peace.
1. Recognise When You’re Absorbing Someone Else’s Energy
Before you can change anything, you need to notice the pattern. Do you feel emotionally drained after interactions? Do you walk away from conversations feeling tense or anxious, even when the issue had nothing to do with you?
Why this happens: Your brain is wired for connection. If you have a tendency towards people-pleasing or conflict avoidance, you might instinctively absorb other people’s energy to keep the peace.
Example: A loved one is in a bad mood, and suddenly, you feel irritated or stressed—even though their issue has nothing to do with you.
Action Step: The next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask yourself, “Is this my emotion, or am I picking up on someone else’s?” Naming it helps create distance between you and the emotion.
Peace starts with how you treat yourself in the midst of chaos.
2. Separate Their Emotions from Yours
Just because someone around you is struggling doesn’t mean you have to struggle too. Their emotions belong to them. You don’t have to carry them.
The shift: “I can support them without absorbing their emotions.”
Example: Imagine someone handing you a heavy backpack full of their emotions. You have a choice—do you pick it up and carry it, or do you leave it with them?
Action Step: The next time someone is in a bad mood, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “I hold my own peace.” Stay present, but don’t take on their burden.
Setting boundaries is not rejection, it’s self-respect.
3. Set Boundaries with Love, Not Guilt
Many people struggle to set boundaries because they feel guilty. But boundaries are not about pushing people away—they’re about protecting your energy so you can show up as your best self.
Example Boundary Script:
“I love you, and I want to be here for you, but I can’t engage in this conversation right now. Let’s talk when we’re both in a better space.”
“I care about what you’re going through, but I need to take a moment for myself before we continue this conversation.”
Action Step: Identify a situation where you often feel emotionally overwhelmed. Decide on a boundary statement you can use next time.
4. Rewire Your Mindset: Choose a Thought That Serves You
Your emotions follow your thoughts. If you tell yourself “This always happens, and I just have to deal with it”, you’ll continue feeling trapped. But if you reframe your thinking, you’ll regain control.
The shift: “I don’t have to engage in every emotional storm. I can be calm even when others are not.”
Action Step: Write down a thought that makes you feel in control of your emotions, and repeat it whenever you feel pulled into someone else’s energy.
5. Celebrate the Wins (Even the Small Ones!)
Breaking emotional patterns takes practice. Recognising and celebrating small wins helps reinforce positive change.
The shift: “Every time I choose peace over reactivity, I’m creating a new pattern.”
Example: Noticing that you walked away from a tense moment without feeling guilty, or setting a small boundary without over-explaining.
Action Step: Keep a “Peace Journal” where you note moments when you successfully held your peace and set a boundary.
Every peaceful choice rewires your emotional response.
Conclusion: Your Peace Is Yours to Keep
You are not responsible for fixing or carrying other people’s emotions.
You can set loving boundaries without guilt.
Holding your own peace creates healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.
The more you practise these steps, the easier it gets. Imagine a life where you feel calm and in control, no matter what’s happening around you—that’s the emotional freedom you deserve.
Which of these steps feels most important for you right now? Share your thoughts in the comments or explore coaching with me to go even deeper on setting boundaries and reclaiming your peace.
Feeling Stuck? Here’s How to Get Your Life Back on Track - Without the Overwhelm
Have you ever wished you had a personal coach to tell you exactly what to do to improve your life - without having to second-guess yourself, waste time figuring it all out alone, or add more to your already full plate?
